


The Unimaginable

by LastOneOut



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst, Cannon Divergence, Depression, F/M, Family Feels, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Past Nick/Judy, all the feelings, mentions of past violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-05-30 11:59:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6423082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastOneOut/pseuds/LastOneOut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So when she found out Nick Wilde was being roomed a few doors down from her husband, well, she felt that she had only one option. He needed someone, and seeing as he was part of the reason she had her family back, she figured it was her duty to give what help she could."</p><p>-</p><p>After Nick goes savage and kills Judy, he wishes that everyone would just leave him alone, but Mrs. Otterton never really knew when to quit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is un-beta'd and I doubt I'll even write more but here you go, hope you enjoy.
> 
> Title inspired by the song 'It's Quiet Uptown' from Hamilton.

Olivia Otterton had been told her whole life she was too kind for her own good. She forgave quickly and easily, never holding ill thoughts or a grudge towards even the worst of mammals. She knew that no matter the crime, the animal behind it was still an animal, and most likely only acted out because life had been cruel to them. 'Who am I to judge?' was practically her life motto, and she lived by it, offering kindness and understanding to everyone she met.

So when the Savage Mammal case was cracked and Emmet brought back to her, she was quick to put Ex-Mayor Bellwether out of her mind, forgiving and forgetting almost instantly. She was just thankful to have her husband back, and happy that the other afflicted animals had in turn been returned to their senses and lives.

All but one, anyway. Everyone had heard what had happened to Judy Hopps, how Nick Wilde been forced to turn savage by the ex-mayor and had killed his friend. The word was he wouldn't be charged with anything, since like the other predators he had little to no memory of his actions and wasn't in his right mind, but the news outlets weren't taking it so lightly. After all he was the only predator to actually kill someone. As a result he was under 24/7 guard(for his protection) and was being kept in the hospital until they were absolutely sure he was ok.

Olivia felt horrible for him. She could only imagine the pain he must be suffering, and with a bit of prodding the cops that frequented his room she found that he had no friends or family to speak of. So when she found out he was being roomed a few doors down from her husband, well, she felt that she had only one option. He needed someone, and seeing as he was part of the reason she had her family back, she figured it was her duty to give what help she could.

Armed with home cooked food and her limitless kindness she marched down the hall and knocked on Nick's door.

 

* * *

 

Nick was no stranger to pain. He could list dozens of times where he truly felt like his life had gone to shit, the junior ranger incident, his father leaving, his mother's death, those first years in foster care, his first year on the streets. Each time had been hell, and he had always thought that this was it, he was never going to be happy again, his life was over.

Finding out that he had killed Judy blew them all away.

Before he met her he had convinced himself that he was ok. He didnt mind a life that went no where, having no real home, regularly breaking the law, his only friend being a guy he hardly knew and only hung out with him out of necessity. He was in as good a place as he could be, and he was fine with that.

Judy had changed everything. She burst into his life spewing optimism and joy and love, things he hadn't let himself feel in years. In a two short days she completely flipped his worldview, helped him see that he could get more out of life, he could find happiness, that he had a future. Even though he had been through so much worse in his life, the weeks after their fight were some of the hardest of his life. She was like a drug, and he felt her loss like a wound. Her coming back had been more than he could have hoped for. He had tried to stay mad at her, but he couldn't, not with her sweet voice and tear filled apologies. He remembered briefly wondering how he had let one little bunny worm her way so deep in his heart.

It was hard to believe that he would never see her again.

Chief Bogo had talked to him personally after he recovered. He was almost embarrassed of how he acted when he heard what had happened. He didnt want to believe it, had called Bogo a liar, but his own shattered memory supplied all the proof he needed. The pain and fear, his worry for Judy flaring before being lost to the all consuming rage. He could hardly think about it without feeling like he was going to puke(he nearly had when he got his memories sorted out). He didnt think he would ever get the taste of her blood out of his mouth.

He tried his best not to but he had broken down, every one of his walls shattering. He hadn't cried like that since he was a kit. Bogo was understanding, patting him on the back in an attempt at comfort, but Nick was too far gone. He didnt deserve comfort or kindness, not after what he had done. Bogo liked to remind him that it wasn't his fault, but he didnt care. He was a stupid, savage predator. He was a fool to think he ever could have been more.

He spent his days staring at the ceiling, too numb to even think. He watched the news when he could stomach it, but between the coverage of Judy's funeral and the case and well, him, he was quick to shut it off. He would vaguely consider doing things, the cops and counselors that frequented his room brought him books and such, he got his phone back as well, but the very thought of activity exhausted him. It was all he could do to take showers and use the restroom, let alone eat.

He was kept under constant guard, was checked on almost every hour, and had to deal with inane meetings with psychiatrists and the like. He had a vague suspicion that he was on suicide watch and was sure they were convinced he was depressed, but he didn't care. When they talked he hardly listened, their optimistic chatter and insistence to hear how he was feeling were stupid at best and pissed him off more than they helped.

So when he heard a light knock on his door followed by a too-sweet voice asking if he was awake he didnt even bother looking up.

Whoever it was had said his name two or three times before he supposed he should answer. But when his eyes met the tiny otter gazing at him with kind eyes he was more than confused. She looked oddly familiar, and wasn't dressed like any of the hospital employees.

“Mr. Wilde? Can I call you Nick?”

He nodded. She gave him a small smile and walked up to his bed.

“I heard they were keeping you were here so I thought I would come visiting. I hope you don't mind. Oh my, where are my manners? Im Olivia Otteron, you helped find my husband, Emmet.”

He eyed her suspiciously, trying to figure out what she wanted. He didn't get visitors, and he was sure they had never even met.

“Can I do something for you?” he said, not even bothering to try to hide the irritation in his voice.

“Oh no, I just brought you some food. Some sandwiches and fruit and such. Figured you could use it. I've seen the mush they serve here, not really what you need if you want to get your strength back.”

Nick barely held back a sigh and rolled his eyes. Pity was the last thing he needed. He watched bitterly as she carefully set the food on his bedside table, before turning back to him with a smile.

“So”, she continued casually, “How are you doing?”

Part of him may have once reasoned that she was just trying to be nice, and that he should at least pretend to appreciate it, but that part of him was long gone. So he simply ignored her. It was a stupid question anyway. She patiently waited for his answer, the silence stretching awkwardly while she gazed at him expectantly. When it was clear he wasn't going to answer she let out a little sound nodded.

“Don't much feel like talking, huh.?”

He gave her a withering look.

“Well, that's fine. My mother always said I could talk enough for a whole romp of otters.” And talk she did. She tittered on about her family, her babies and her life, the weather. Nick let his head fall back, groaning. He prayed that if he just ignored her or pretend to be asleep she might leave. But she carried on, oblivious to his indifference. By the time she started on a tv show she liked, he found himself starting to wonder if maybe he did die, and this was just some special personal hell, and decided that enough was enough.

“Ok, ma'am?” She stopped, looking surprised. “I really appreciate what you're trying to do here, really nice of you and everything, but I don't need your pity, and I don't want your help. So, if you could kindly see yourself to the door I have some very important brooding to get back to. Ok, thank you, goodbye.”

She looked at him oddly then, and he found himself shrinking under her gaze. She seemed like she was looking right through him, and he found that extremely unsettling.

“That's fair, I suppose. A bit rude of me to just assume you'd want company.” She gave him another one of her knowing looks before continuing, “But as far as I've heard you've just been sitting here with your misery for days. You don't want to talk, you don't want help, you don't want friends...so, if you don't mind me asking...is there anything you do want?”

'I want Judy back.' his mind supplied, and he crushed it down before giving her a weak glare and answering, “Nothing you can give.”

He turned away then, choosing to stare uselessly at the curtained window, refusing to look up until long after he was sure she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote more I guess? Not really sure where I'm going with this but once again, hope you like it! (Also I would be open to any feedback you guys might have, I'm flying by the seat of my pants here.)

Nick seriously didn't think she would come back. He swore he had given his best ‘leave me the fuck alone’ vibe yesterday, but here she was, giving him that sickeningly sweet smile and asking him how his day had been. If he liked the sandwiches. Had he read anything new or watched something interesting on TV.

He would have been shocked if he wasn't so irritated.

“…and it's around lunch time so I figured I could bring you something good to eat again. You did like the sandwiches, yes? I had to guess on the ingredients but if you want to tell me something you do like I'd be happy to cook it for you.”

He couldn't think of a reply that didn't involve enough curses to make a sailor blush, so he just stared at her, anger written clearly across his face.

She glared back, meeting his gaze with her own stubborn one.

“Now, Nick I know you said you wanted to be left alone but I couldn't let myself sit by while you stewed here alone in you misery.”

“What if I want to stew in my misery?” He shot back, irritation dripping from every word.

She only gave him another one of her annoyingly understanding looks.

“Anyway,” she continued, “I thought today we could go for a walk. That burly guard out there is going to have to come, but I checked and she said it would be fine. Besides I'm sure she could use a change of scenery too.”

“I don't want to go on a walk. Besides, I'm infamous right now, what if we get swarmed with press? Aren't I supposed to be laying low?”

“Oh, you'll be fine. Stop making stop making excuses and get up.”

Nick stared at her, debating if it was worth it to argue. For such a tiny otter, she had one hell of a presence, all crossed arms and stubborn glares. He reminded himself that she was the same otter who stormed right into Bogo's office demanding to be seen. That took a certain kind of determination.

After a moment he decided to give in. It was just one walk, and he would be lying if he said that being outside didnt sound even slightly appealing. Maybe she would even leave him alone if he indulged her one more time. Let her see that he was just fine and didnt need to be worried over.

“Alright,” He grumbled, tossing his blanket to the side and sliding off the bed, “One walk.”

Mrs. Otterton's demeanor changed instantly, a satisfied smile crossing her face. She quickly gathered her bag and padded along behind him as he walked to the door.

“Oh I'm so glad. Fresh air and sunlight really are the best medicine. Im sure this will do you a world of good.”

“Whatever.” he said, stretching his back and arms, “Let's just get it over with.”

They nodded to the guard and she silently followed them, keeping a modest distance. A comfortable silence fell as they made the short walk to the hospital garden. Mrs. Otterton waved to many of the doctors and nurses as they passed, and by the time they made it outside he wondered if there was a single animal in the building she didnt know.

They found a secluded bench and Nick slumped down on it, closing his eyes. Mrs. Otterton started talking, but he tuned her out. Instead he focused on how gentle the breeze felt, how the sun warmed his fur. Breathing deeply he let himself slump down further and relax.

-

He must have dozed off, for when he opened his eyes the sun had moved and she was gone, a small sandwich on his lap the only sign she had been there. He sat up and looked around, massaging the soreness out of his neck. His guard was still there (What was her name? Erin?) When she saw him sit up she came over.

“Mrs. Otterton told me to let you know that she'd be back tomorrow. I was gonna to wake you, but she said to let you sleep. She also said to make sure that you ate that sandwich, but I can't really force you to or anything.”

He picked up the food, and stood. “Right...well thanks I guess.”

“You wanna head back?”

He gazed around at the garden, his eyes lingering over the flowers and grass. It smelled wonderful, and the late afternoon air was still warm and relaxing. He could almost forget...almost. He felt the familiar pang in his chest and suddenly it was like the color started fading out of everything. He felt the heaviness sink back in, the anger and sadness. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, turning back to the doors.

“Yeah. Let's go.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the awesome gentleman-penguin over on tumblr I actually have a few idea's for where I would like to take this fic, so expect more soon I guess. As always, I hope you all enjoy!

The next morning Nick was up with the sun.

He had snapped awake in the early hours of the morning, covered in sweat and tears. He had just barely choked back a broken scream, and when he sat up he breathed deeply, trying desperately to calm his racing heart.

It was rare for him to go a night without nightmares. Some were worse than others, but he still only managed to get a few hours of sleep every night. After he inevitably woke up he would try to at least take a shower, washing the sweat and grime from his fur.

After he showered he made his way back to his bed. He pulled on a fresh shirt from the pile that someone from some charity had brought for him. His eyes lingered over the window, soft light from the pre-dawn filtering in around the curtain. He shuffled over, pulling it aside. He blinked, eyes adjusting to the light, before he gazed curiously at the view.

The hospital was one of the nicer ones, in the heart of downtown, and he could see the first few morning animals heading out to work and school. He watched the cars as they wound their way around the various roads and freeways, before looking up at the sun. It shone over the buildings, bright light glinting off windows and cars. It hurt his eyes, but it was nice, in its own way. Everything seemed peaceful and simple.

After a moment his gaze fell on the ZPD. He could see it in the distance, nestled in between city hall and the museum. It hurt to look at, hurt to think about. I seemed like everything in the city reminded him of Judy these days. He wondered what it would be like if she were still here. Maybe he would have applied for the police academy. Tried to make something of himself. Worked by her side.

Nick slouched, running a paw over his face. This wasn't helping. He briefly considered trying to do something, read or watch tv, before shaking his head and closing the curtain. He collapsed back onto his bed, falling into a shallow sleep.

-

Mrs. Otterton didn't come that day. Nick didn't ask about her, but a nurse or someone told him that her husband had been released that morning, and she was busy taking him home.

Nick didnt care. He told himself that he was glad for the quiet. Maybe now she would finally stop bothering him and he could get back to...well...doing nothing.

He dedicated most of the morning to brooding, and ended up taking a fitful nap around noon. Nurses came and went, and when he woke up he actually found himself feeling bored. He ate his early dinner(and bitterly noted that her sandwiches really were better than the hospital food) and after realizing that he had actually memorized the pattern on several of the ceiling tiles he groaned and got up.

He stuck his head out of his door and startled his guard(Eliza? Her name started with an E he was sure) he waved at her.

“I'm going for a walk.” She shrugged and stood, ready to follow him. He stepped hesitantly out of the door, feeling oddly naked after spending so much time in his room. He walked slowly, with no need to hurry, and made his way to the garden.

The sun was low, just starting to touch the horizon, and long shadows patterned the grass. A few patients stood here and there, the majority heading inside for the night. He picked out the bench from yesterday and sat, staring idly at the scenery. He hated to admit it, but the otter had been right. Being outside did help.

He stayed for a while, taking in the nature, focusing on it and letting everything else fall away. He didn't fall asleep, but he was out of it enough that he didnt notice the soft footsteps until they were right on top of him.

“It's a lovely day, isn't it?”

He jumped, turning to see that damn otter, smiling happily at him. He rolled his eyes, slumping down and propping his head up on his hands. “Don't you have a husband to take care of?”

“He's an adult, he can watch himself for a few hours.”

“Are you forgetting that he got drugged and kidnapped?”

Olivia shook her head, laughing, “Well, I suppose you are right. But it's a risk I'll have to take.”

She climbed up the bench, sitting next to him. They sat quietly for a while, both breathing deeply, enjoying the fresh breeze and watching the sunset. It was long after the sun faded completely behind the tall buildings when Olivia spoke again.

“I brought you some more food. It's a casserole this time. I think you'll like it.”

Nick gave her a sidelong glance, before turning his eyes back to the sky.

“Thank you.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You saw my pain washed out in the rain  
> Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins  
> But you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart  
> And you knelt beside my hope torn apart
> 
> But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view  
> We'll live a long life." - Mumford and Sons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while listening to 'Wilder Mind' by Mumford and Sons and dear lord it fucked me up. Buckle your seatbelts guys this train is heading straight to suffer town.

As the days passed they fell into a comfortable rhythm. Olivia( _‘Please, Nick, ‘Mrs. Otterton’ makes me sound so old.'_ ) would come sometime in the late afternoon. She would greet him and smile and he would act annoyed(more for his sake than hers) and they would shuffle out to the garden and eat the food she brought.

At first they didn’t talk much. She would make her little comments here and there, and Nick would listen silently, focusing more on the weather than her. But after a few days he found himself actually answering her questions. He would complain about the hospital, how his room was always too cold and smelled funny, how the food sucked(and yes, he supposed her cooking was better) how the counselors and nurses irritated him. How he wished he could just leave already.

“When you do get out, do you have anywhere to go?” She asked one day as they headed back to his room. He paused, letting the question hang in the air a moment before continuing.

“Not really. I used to live...well sleep anyway, in the back of my friend's van. But I don't think that going to be an option now.” Nick gave her a quick glance, “And don't even think about offering me to stay with you. I don't think I'd even fit in your house.”

“Now Nick, really, if you don't have anywhere to go...”

“I'll figure something out. Besides, I doubt the chief is gonna let me go 'til he's good and sure that I'm not gonna do something crazy once I'm out.”

She huffed, “Suit yourself.”

They walked in companionable silence, rounding the last turn to his room. Nick stopped when he saw Bogo standing by his door. “Speak of the devil.” he muttered.

“Ah Wilde. I was hoping you'd be back soon.”

Nick nodded, “What can I do ya for, Chief?”

“I hoped that you would agree to meet with someone.”

“More counselors and doctors? Sorry, Chief, not really interested.”

“Not quite.” Bogo reached into his pocket and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. Nick eyed it suspiciously as he took it. “Well this certainly looks like the world’s crappiest get well soon card. I understand you care, Chief, but you couldn’t spluge for an envelope?”

“Just read it, Wilde.”

Nick unfolded the note, his eyes quickly taking in the neat handwriting. As he read his hands started to shake, his claws unintentionally clenching and tearing small holes in the paper.

_‘Dear Nick Wilde,_

_Hello! I know that it’s probably a bit forward of me, but I couldn’t help but write to you. I wanted to to ask if it would be alright for me to see you. I’m in town for a few more days and I’d really like to talk. I understand if you don’t want to, but please, indulge me. I’ve got some very important things to tell you. Get back to me when you can!_

_Signed,_  
_Bonnie Hopps’_

Nick quickly crumpled up the paper, tossing it to the floor. He turned to his door, forcefully pulling it open as fought back the burning in his eyes. What could she possibly want? To yell at him? To say that she hated him? That it was his fault? He didn’t need someone else to tell him that. He glared up at Bogo, voice shaking as he spat back, “I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you.” He slammed the door behind him as Mrs. Otterton and Bogo looked on sadly.

Bogo sighed, reaching down to pick up the note. “Well, I’m glad I didn’t tell him that she’s here right now.”

Olivia looked up at him, “She’s here?”

He nodded, “I told her that this would happen. She wanted to come up but I figured that it would be too much of a shock for him. Had her write the note instead, but I knew he wouldn’t want to see her, even if she only had kind things to say.”

“Could I go talk to her?” Olivia asked, and Bogo shrugged.

“Don’t see why not. She’s down in the lobby. Good luck. I’ve got to get back to work.” Olivia nodded and headed towards the elevators, Bogo following close behind.

 

* * *

 

Later that night Nick made his way back to the garden. He sat dejectedly upon his bench, glaring at nothing. The cool night air was wet, and he felt dewy grass soak his feet. He couldn’t see the stars, but the skyline shined in its own way and kept the black sky from feeling too empty. He breathed deeply, letting the air clear his head. Bogo and Olivia hadn’t come back. Some part of him might have felt bad for how he acted, but most of him didn’t care. He was so sick of everyone pitying him and trying to help. He didn’t need help. Didn’t deserve it. He almost wished that Mrs. Hopps would come up, yell at him, reaffirm everything he knew to be true. He clenched his fists and sighed, closing his eyes and trying to desperately to forget, even if it was just for a moment.

After a while he heard soft paws crossing the grass. He cracked an eye and saw Olivia coming over to him. She didn’t talk, simply climbed up on the bench and sat next to him.

He spoke first. “You’re not usually here this late.”

She nodded. “Unusual circumstances require unusual hours.”

“Do they.” He closed his eyes again, and sounded only mildly offended as he continued, “You talked to her, didn’t you.”

“I did.”

“And...?”

Olivia smiled. “She really wants to talk to you.”

Nick huffed and turned away from her. “Nick...” She sighed, shaking her head, “Please. You need to talk to her. Trust me.”

He looked at her and his eyes were filled with hopeless resignation. But under it was something else, fear, and perhaps the smallest amount of hope. She gave him a kind smile, reaching over and patting his arm. He couldn’t help but be reminded of another gentle touch, another understanding glance. Even now the memory still burned bright in his mind, her soft voice clear as the night air.

_‘Nick...You are so much more than that.’_

His eyes flooded, and held back the tears as he placed his paw over hers. He gave her a helpless, watery smile. His voice was quiet when he spoke, shaking his head. “I’m scared.”

“Don’t worry, It’s going to be alright. I promise.”

“Ok.” He nodded, “Ok.”

 

* * *

 

Olivia waited for Nick to compose himself before she stood and walked the short distance to the hospital hall. She pushed open the large door, and found Bonnie looking at her expectantly.

“He’s pretty fragile right now, but he said you could come talk to him.”

Bonnie nodded, her eyes thankful. “I’m glad.” Olivia shared her look, but her face soon fell.

“What is it?” Bonnie asked, her voice filling with worry.

“He’s just so sad...so lonely. I just wish there was more I could do.” She sniffed, wiping her eyes hastily, “Oh goodness, look at me. You go on, I’ll be ok here.” Bonnie looked hesitant, but nodded, pushing open the door.

The cool night air brushed through her fur, and her eyes took a moment adjusting from the bight hallway to the dark garden. She sighed when she saw him, hunched on a bench not far from her, his red fur dull in the shadows. His arms hung limply at his sides, and he kept his gaze turned away from her, his ears being the only indication that he knew she was there.

She walked slowly over to him, keeping her footsteps light and quiet. She stood awkwardly be the bench, letting him speak first.

“Hi.” His voice was rough and weak, he still refused to look at her.

“Thank you for agreeing to see me.” She said quietly, “I know you didn’t want to.” He didn't respond, so she stepped closer, bringing her hand to rest lightly on the bench.

“You know...Judy told me about you.” Bonnie smiled to herself, “She told me a lot about you. When...when she came home I knew she was upset. She wouldn't admit it but she had given up her dream and it crushed her.” Her voice got quiet and light, “But trust me, she was more upset over losing you.”

Nick curled into himself tighter, arms wrapping around his chest, but his ears were still angled towards her, so she continued.

“She told me that you were the kindest, most trustworthy mammal she had ever met. She said she hopped one day that she could find a way to fix things. Even when she was at her lowest she only thought about you and the other animals who were suffering.”

As she talked she slowly came closer to the bench, her footsteps soft in the dewy grass. Nick shrunk away from her as she sat down. She took a moment to get comfortable before continuing.

“Judy spoke so highly of you. And if she could trust you that much, well, then I know that what happened could never be your fault.”

Nick's breathing hitched, and Bonnie slid closer to him, resting her hand in the space between them.

“Nick…Judy loved you. She loved you more than she knew. More than you knew. And I know that she would never blame you for what happened. Never.”

“How can you say that?” He asked, his voice harsh, “I'm the reason your daughter is dead. I killed her. How can you just act like that’s ok?” He looked up at her then, his face broken, his eyes filled with almost childlike confusion and fear.

Bonnie shook her head and smiled, and she slowly reached over to him. He flinched and his breathing quickened, panic clear in his eyes, and she stopped, but when he didn't move away she took his arm and gently pulled him close, enveloping him in a tight hug. He stiffened, but her warmth soon seeped into him. It was a mother’s hug, kind and full of forgiveness and understanding. Something he hadn't felt in a long, long time.

Her voice was soft when she spoke, and Nick felt the words cut deep, right to his heart. “It’s not your fault.”

His face contorted, and before he could stop it he was crying, big, wet tears that he was sure soaked into her fur, but she still pulled him closer. He buried his face against her neck, and it was a bit awkward, but she was rubbing comforting circles in his back and whispering kind words and he couldn’t bring himself to care. At some point he realized that he was apologizing between his sobs, and she replied, whispering again and again that she forgave him, that it wasn’t his fault.

And somewhere, deep, deep inside him, he started to believe her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And I can't be for you all of the things you want me to  
> But I will love you constantly  
> There's precious little else to me  
> And though we cry, we must stay alive."
> 
> \- Hot Gates by Mumford and Sons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last one guys! The ending is kind of sad, but I think you'll like it. Thanks for reading, it means the world to me. Enjoy!

Nick didn’t dream that night. 

The next morning he was all but tossed out of bed by Olivia and Bonnie. He hardly got a complaint in edgewise as he was handed a towel and ushered off to the shower while the two made quick work of cleaning up his room. He could hear them talking as he washed, and he grumbled to himself. He didn’t need to be taken care of. When he was done and dressed in fresh clothes Bonnie gave him several pies and boxes of fruit and a huge handmade quilt.

“Are you sure?” He asked when she presented it to him, “This looks like it took a while to make.”

“Oh, please, I have hundreds of them at home. Besides,” She held it up against him, “These colors look good on you, don’t you think?”

“They do!” Olivia added, and Nick had to agree. The pattern of soft greens and pastel yellows was lovely and complimented his fur nicely.

“Well, alright then.” She spread it neatly over his bed, the warm colors glowing in the morning light shining through the window and brightening the room considerably. He hated to admit it but the motherly touches they had made to the room did wonders.

“Now Nick I want you to eat these, ok? You’re going to need your strength. They’re store bought so they aren’t perfect but it’s better than nothing.” Bonnie said, pointing to the food. He nodded, too overwhelmed to be sarcastic. The two ladies doted over him for a while more, giving him orders to eat and go outside and make sure that he didn't sleep all day, before sighing and admitting that they had to leave.

“I’ll be in town for a few days more, so I might come check up on you again, if you don’t mind.” Bonnie added. Nick figured that even if he did mind that she would come anyway, so he agreed. She smiled. “Alrighty then, take care Nick.”

Nick found that the good nights sleep had actually primed his appetite so he dug into one of the pies, not caring that it wasn't really a breakfast food. He agreed that it wasn’t as good as homemade, but it was still better than the hospital pie, so he didn't complain. He didn’t realise till much later, sitting in the garden, eating fresh strawberries that he hadn’t thought about Judy all morning.

 

* * *

 

Later that day as he came back from his trip to the garden he ran into Bogo. His guard headed back to his room, nodding to Bogo.

“Hey chief.” Nick said with a wave, “Got some more emotionally scaring people for me to talk to?”

Bogo rolled his eyes. “Not today, Wilde. Just me.”

Nick feigned horror, “I don't know, chief, I feel pretty upset right now. Might need to go lie down.”

“Give it a rest Wilde.”

Nick smirked, “Alright. What do you need?”

“I want to know what your game plan is.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Wilde. Where are you going next. As I recall you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. You could have some options outside of hustling...what was it, ‘pawpsicles’ ?”

Nick eyed him suspiciously. “Why do I feel like you’re about to try to recruit me?”

“Because I’m about to try to recruit you.” Bogo said with a smirk. “That’s what I’m talking about, Wilde. You’re smart, you’ve got skills that you could put to use. Judy spoke highly of you, you know.”

“So I keep hearing...” Nick sighed as Bogo pulled a paper out of his pocket. A little yellow square, a bit roughed up around the edges and worn along its folds. Nick recognised it instantly. He took the paper, not bothering to unfold it. He had long since memorised the writing inside.

“It’s something to think about. As I recall she was often right.”

Nick looked away, his eyes burning. “I’m a criminal, chief. I didn’t figure that I’d be welcome with the fuzz.”

“Thats for me to decide. And I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t think you could do it.” Nick didn’t look up, and Bogo sighed, turning to leave.

“I can’t make you. And I understand why you wouldn’t want to. But think about it. You have a lot to offer. It’d be a shame to see it go to waste.”

Nick stood in the hallway until long after Bogo was gone. He ignored the tears in his eyes, staring down at the paper. He could think of hundreds of reasons why he shouldn't take the job. He was getting older. 32 was a hell of a time to start something new, and it wouldn’t be easy. He would follow in Judy’s footsteps, the first of his kind to try. The reception wouldn’t be kind, foxes were still seen as untrustworthy, and he was sure that his little incident didn’t help that, but maybe...maybe this could start to change that. He unfolded the paper gently, looking over the familiar words. He could still hear Judy’s teasing words. _‘You know, I think you might actually be a pretty good cop.’_

He laughed, pocketing the form. Finnick was never gonna let him live this down.

 

* * *

 

Sergeant Nicholas P. Wilde died at age 47 in the line of duty. He was shot three times defending his partner on a drug sting gone south. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

His funeral was attended by almost the entire ZPD and several people from the affiliated branches. He was the first fox to join the force, and paired with Judy’s fame he inspired hundreds of non-traditional mammals to apply. Several of those mammals spoke, including not only several of Judy’s youngest siblings and cousins who followed in her footsteps, but Penelope and Owen Otterton, Olivia’s children and the first otters to become officers. They both remembered how he had become like an uncle to them, always encouraging them to try everything and to never let small minded people stand in their way. (Olivia also attended, staring with pride at her children, silently thanking Nick for all he had done for them.)

Formally, he was remembered as a highly valued officer, his face joining the wall of officers lost on duty, his accolades mentioned below his picture. But to his friends he was remembered fondly as a snarky, sarcastic asshole with a heart of gold. He was dearly missed.

Of course, Nick knew none of this. As those bullets hit him he remembered the pain, the fear and the worry for his partner(A sweet raccoon, the first on the force. She was so small, so brave and so, so much like Judy. He couldn't let her die.)

Then warmth. Softness and light and a sweet voice calling to him;

_There you are, you dumb fox._

_I missed you._

 


End file.
